Losing the Sea
by Shyleigh
Summary: (SLASH JW) (Companion to Fanning the Spark) Will Turner is beautiful. There's no other way Jack can describe him. But once Jack has him, will be able to keep him? Or only lose him...


A/N: This is a companion piece to "Fanning the Spark". I suggest you read that one first, but this can also stand fairly well on its own I think.  
  
Warning: SLASH! Don't like piratey-man touching, leave now.  
  
Disclaimer: (points at giggling mouse) He owns everything. (sob)  
  
-Losing the Sea-  
  
'He's beautiful' was my first thought on William Turner when I had gotten the time to admire him. Absolutely beautiful. There was no other way to describe it. I noticed this the second I met him of course, but now that I had had the time to stop and take a good look...Dear. God. The man was gorgeous. His shirt open just so, showing some tantalizing skin, and the tie that kept his hair back had fallen out, his now free hair being lightly played with by the wind...what I would do to wrap that curl around my finger...  
  
'No, no, no...stop that Jack, he's Bootstrap's boy. Old dead friend's son. Not good to be attracted to him. Not good at all...' But God help me if I wasn't already.  
  
I comforted myself with the notion that it would go away. I mean, it's often a pretty lad, or lass, I'm not picky, catches my fancy, and then after a bit the attraction I have with them dies out and another some one fills in their place. It was easy to assume the little attraction I had for Will would eventually pick up and leave like all others. Not to mention my body might have been a little...desperate so to speak. I can't quite remember the last time I'd had any tail...  
  
By now I was openly ogling him on deck, obviously making the object of my staring uncomfortable.  
  
Best plan of action of course was to leave before he noticed how...happy I was to see him, so I rushed to my cabin as fast as I could when one is walking in a drunken stagger and hoped my good right hand would do the job...  
  
Now this was the first night I found myself wishing Mr. Turner would occupy my bed. The first of many. God knows it was the longest time some one had ever kept me this interested, and I hadn't even had him...There were several problems with getting Mr. Turner into my bunk however, the main one being he was hopelessly and utterly in love with one Elizabeth Swann and would consider me a dirty sodomite for even thinking of him in this fashion. As a side note I suppose if both of us were shagging like bunnies there would be no one to steer and man the ship, though I might have been able to work around that...But anyway, Will was not interested in anyone other than one person, one female person might I add, and therefore was completely out of my reach.  
  
That didn't mean I wasn't going to try. Jack Sparrow always gets what he wants. And I. Want. Will. So I started touching him as often as I could. I am usually quite physical, but I can shamelessly say I really was all over the lad. Sometimes I tried to be subtle mind you, you know, let my hand linger on his shoulder a little longer than necessary...or maybe my hand might creep up to smooth back a renegade curl that fell into his eyes...or maybe, I'd press up a bit too close when moving his hands to show him how to tie a rope...  
  
I suppose I would have been completely discouraged if Will had just gone normally, simply accepting my touches as friendly, or if he had flat out rejected me. But he blushed. He squirmed slightly. His skin prickled under my light caresses. And nothing had felt sweeter.  
  
I grew more and more intoxicated with him ever day. Before the only things I was concerned about were rum, my Pearl, and my first love, the sea. Suddenly I found myself checking on Will to see how he was doing, making feeble attempts to cheer him when he seemed to be feeling down. God, wasn't I too old for this?! I felt like some lovesick teenager. The notion makes me shudder. I don't love other people...simply stupid that is. You're just asking for it. I love things, things that can't die or betray you...  
  
In all honesty though, Will reminded me of the sea. It sounds strange but it's truly the only way I can describe it. I found myself trying to describe it to him one night. I was drunk and otherwise wouldn't have said anything, but my tongue seemed to suddenly run rampant. I was telling him of Pearl, thinking he would probably understand my strange love for a ship, his love for was seemingly Elizabeth much the same. And it came to me then, that truly she wasn't right for him at all...he didn't love her the way a man would love a woman, or so I noticed when Will described it. As if she were a statue, a perfection he admired from afar, as if she wasn't a real person with flaws. I doubted Will would be able to bring himself to touch Elizabeth, the same way I couldn't really touch Pearl in that way...  
  
I saw a chance then. So I tried to take it.  
  
I was telling him of the sea and Pearl, and I found my tongue went completely loose and I wasn't even talking about the sea or my fascination with it any more. I was grappling with my bizarre feelings for him, trying to word them, and it suddenly seemed like this wasn't just an attraction.  
  
His hair had slipped out of its tie again and the curls seemed to call for me to run my fingers through them, like waves on an ocean call to me when I've been on land too long...except this wasn't wander lust. Before I knew what I was doing I was leaning forward, about to press my lips to his. He didn't move away even though I did. As fast I possibly could in fact. 'Boy is in love with the strumpet. Dead friend's son. Got to stop wanting him...'  
  
It didn't stop; even by the time we reached Tortuga. Well at least I was in the best place for a man to get a little release I figured. Unfortunately I didn't seem to be in high esteem with my favourite girls...I might have "forgot" to pay them a few too many times. I was exceptionally happy though when I saw Tom; a rent boy was probably just what I needed, considering the reason for my current 'tension' so to speak. Tom, bloody pain in the ass was still in a tiff about last time, had to go and slap me and walks off all righteous like.  
  
Never remembered the town being so unfriendly. I felt Will's eyes on me but found I was hesitant to look at him. Well, if he hadn't figured out which side I butter my bread by now...  
  
I quickly tell Gibbs we'll use Will for leverage so to speak while persuading him to help us. God knows I'm a bit too agitated right now to give him any other explanation for how I plan to get the –Black Pearl- back. Old man falls for it. As if I can't get Pearl back and Elizabeth without letting Barbossa and his crew use Will to become uncursed again. Why does no one have any faith in me?  
  
I invited Will for a little drink, considering he seemed sort of edgy, and I figured it would do him good. God, he was sinful. All glowing in the candle-lit bar, I hardly even noticed the brawls going on behind me. The dim light washed over his features, leaving him looking raw and absolutely ravishing. Just his voice drove me nuts. I tried to leave and get a whore before I lunged at him over the table.  
  
I get up too quickly and stumble. He catches me instantly. The feeling of his body against mine does me in. I feel a sudden storm gathering up within me and if I didn't take him then I thought I would go crazy.  
  
With amazing restraint I slowly run my hands up his body, and see such intensity in his eyes that I feel myself come undone. I crash my lips against his, almost jolting from the shock. I grab his hand and in a frenzied run we reach the room I rented for us and smirk when I realize there was no need for two beds.  
  
I run my hands through his curls of hair over and over again, our bodies flush against each other. I felt pleasantly lost, mercilessly tossed in a tempest, the sea hitting me on all sides, wave after wave crashing across my hulk.  
  
The calm after the storm seemed almost as incredible and even though I was firmly planted on land I felt rocked to sleep as if still on a ship sliding along on the sea.  
  
--------------------------------------------- I thought I had had him. I had hoped, foolish as it was, that he loved me, and had forgotten of Elizabeth. How wrong I was.  
  
The morning after the first night I had smiled up at him from my position on his chest. He didn't return the gesture. He smoothed my hair back and then quickly got dressed and asked me when we planned to meet the gathered crew. He was cold and indifferent and acted like it had never happened. And I still wanted him, even though I'd already had him.  
  
I was addicted to Will Turner, the one taste only fueling my want. He avoided me like the plague the rest of the day, and somehow managed to arrange a bunk for himself in the crew's quarters without me knowing. It was after a few days on the ship before I could actually confront him.  
  
It was late evening when I caught him before he headed to his bunk. God, he was quick. I had to grab him by the arm before he went below deck and drag him to my cabin. After the initial protest he came along with me silently. I swung him inside and must have looked slightly ragged because he looked alarmed when he my face.  
  
So I got straight to the point.  
  
"Why have you been avoiding me?"  
  
His eyes darted around the room as if he were spider trapped in a jar. He feigned innocence. I was getting frustrated. Fast.  
  
I crossed the distance between us and pressed my lips against his. Hard.  
  
"Remember that?" I asked while moving down his neck. "And this..." I sucked on a small mark I had left last time, making him gasp. He simply nodded.  
  
I woke up the next morning with Will in my bed, and I'd never felt happier. When I grinned at him during the day sometimes he returned the gesture in a shy smile. He came to me every night after that, and I gladly accepted him. Well, at least he did until we saved Elizabeth. All I got out of him after that was an oar to my head and later an escape from the gallows. Again, it was as if nothing had ever happened between us. He was back with his strumpet and I was back with my Pearl. It was what we had both wanted in the beginning.  
  
And yet I still wanted him. I still wanted him even though I'd shagged him and things were seemingly over between us. I still wanted him because I love him. I think I have for a long time, but Christ knows I've never been in love before, so I suppose the tell tale signs must have slipped past me at the time I had him. I think I might have told him if I'd known. I think I might have begged him to stay. But it was a bit late for that now.  
  
How stupid I was for assuming my passion for him was a just a passing fancy. How stupid I was for thinking Will loved Elizabeth the way I loved Pearl. How stupid I was for not seeing that I loved Will the way I love the sea. And now I see that he won't be coming back to me like I thought he might. I've lost him.  
  
I leave the deck, giving the wheel over to Ana for the night shift, and head to my cabin. Nine months since I've left Port Royal. I move slowly to my cold bed, feeling more exhausted then I had a few seconds before. Like every night I twist in my sheets, unable to get proper rest without my sea to rock me to sleep.  
  
A/N: I was hoping to resolve things between Jack and Will in this one, but it didn't really want to work out that way it seems --. Anyway, I'll probably end up writing another one of these ficlets to resolve everything (hopefully). Not sure what POV I should write it in. If you have a preference tell me in a review. Oh, and thanks to Bluekrystal1, Valanya, The Goddess Diana, SilverFoxBlueFox, Vireyda Magodaly, unpuregoddess, your superhero, highelf-ranger-of-10towns, Kuramasgirl556 and Sean-Astins-Baby for reviewing. I love it :D 


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